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Along with being back in school, many children are returning to sports, clubs or other extracurricular activities. The trend for parents to get and keep their children involved in enriching activities seems to be growing and that’s great. Activities can give a child added self-confidence, discipline, social skills, and values along with whatever skill(s) he or she is learning. But some experts warn that some parents can overdo it and get their children involved in too many activities. Children can suffer from burnout if they don’t have time to eat and rest properly, keep up with their studies, or have enough time to “just be a kid”.
How do you know how much is too much for your child? Many parents say they limit their children, especially younger ones, to one activity at a time. Some children cannot handle more than this because they don’t have the endurance and attention span needed for more. Other parents say they take their cues from their children. While it’s true that some kids need more “down” time, it’s also true that some children simply do not do well without structure and regiment. When they don’t have planned activities, they “don’t have anything to do!” or are “bored”. If your child complains of this, then it may be time to get him involved in something or if he is already has an activity, maybe he is ready to take on something else. Children who do well with “down time” are children who are great at entertaining themselves. A drawback to having lots of scheduled activities, however, is that there will inevitably come a time where there is not as much to do. If a child has little experience with unstructured time, she is going to be miserable.
Overscheduling can be rough on parents as well. It seems okay at first, especially when it’s only one child. But adding activities and then younger siblings getting older and adding activities can really put the miles on your car and your energy! It can be hectic, especially for working and single parents to figure out how everyone is going to get everywhere they are supposed to be and get there on time. It can also be draining if you happen to volunteer to lead any of their activities such as coach or teach., which all parents should consider doing at some point—it’s a valuable experience! And if you do get involved, you do usually get some input on when the activities are scheduled.
Most parents and childrearing experts agree that children should be encouraged to pursue their own natural interests, though some direction from a parent is good. I don’t think my own son would be as interested in archery if his dad wasn’t an avid bowhunter. My husband doesn’t push him, but he sees his dad at target practice and is interested so I think that’s okay to encourage his interest in something he and his dad can share. I would throw a proverbial fit, however, if my child decided that it was not for him and my husband forced him to get out there and learn just because it was his hobby!
Many parents also choose activities based on what will benefit their children. For example, 4H and Scouting teaches children patriotism, family, community and spirituality values. Track and soccer are great exercise and other sports are great for teaching children to play together as a team.
Still, many parents also choose activities based on cost. Libraries, churches, bookstores, museums and community centers in the area offer many free or low-cost activities for children. Do remember that those in charge of a particular program such as sports or arts cannot always predict every cost that will be incurred during the period. So don’t get bent out of shape if you’re asked to kick in some extra money every now and then. Just remember, that’s part of having children.
Parents should never choose an activity to be used as childcare. Many coaches and instructors are parents just like you and this simply isn’t fair to them to be expected to be skilled in that capacity or to monitor a child’s every movement when they are trying to teach a skill or concept.
As for me personally, I try to encourage my children’s interests as long as it’s something we can afford, they are getting plenty of rest, and their grades remain satisfactory to my standards. I think it’s good for them to stay involved in anything that keeps them safe, entertained, physically fit, or teaches them skills, builds character or instills values. I also think it’s important for children to finish what they start. We can’t teach our children anything about commitment if we’re always giving in to their desire to dropout. Therefore, there is always lots of discussion and consideration at my house before we sign up for anything!
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