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Christmas and New Year’s celebrations traditionally come and go with smells of ham and sounds of lingering laughter floating through the air. Family, friends and acquaintances gather round a table, making memories, tipping toasts to Christmas and the New Year and making memories to last a life time through.
But what of those who have no family, whose friends are few, or live away from those dear to their hearts?
Christmas and New Year’s, with all their crystal snow, tinsel and bright lights, cannot fill the hearts of those alone and depressed for the holidays. In fact, for many such people, the holidays can lead to a deep depression, and in some cases can even lead to suicidal thoughts. Depression and suicides generally occur at a higher ratio during the holidays than at any other time of the year.
So what can be done about this serious problem?
First and foremost, if you suffer from lonliness or holiday depression, do not be alone for the holidays! Even if it means volunteering your time to help the needy at a food line or soup kitchen, do not be alone. There are many valuable programs to become involved with well before the holidays, and such involvement on your part will lessen your feelings of lonliness, of low self-esteem and low self-worth. It will also provide purpose to your life and encourage your understanding that you are not the only person alone for the holidays. After all, if these people had family close by or a multitude of friends would they be at a soup kitchen? Not unless they have dedicated their lives to helping others. This might also assist you in acquainting yourself with caring people who might also make wonderful friends, friends that might also love to have someone to spend the holidays with. And keep in mind, no matter if you meet potential friends or not, there is no greater gift than the gift of the heart and helping your fellow man.
A second option might be attending holiday celebrations, such as candlelight church services that serve to warm the heart, or gala musical concertos that fill our spirits with the beauty and fulfillment of song. This also helps those depressed to feel less sorry and encourages a light heart when those in the depressed person’s environment are happy and involved in the church or musical service.
Something important to remember is no matter how you choose to fill your holiday, being alone is not a curse, and being alone for a holiday does not mean you are not a worthy family member or friend. It simply means circumstances or time did not allow for your or their personal involvement this year, and that the blessing of it all is that it freed up your time to enjoy a celebration of a different sort, or allowed you to become involved with personal giving through community programs that you otherwise would have missed entirely.
If after becoming involved in such activities you are still having a problem with overwhelming feelings of holiday depression, try encouragement exercises, such as waking each morning, stretching, taking a deep breath and looking in the mirror and reminding yourself how great you are. Say to yourself, “You look great today. You really are a nice person. Your creator has a purpose for you in this life and there is something important you have to do today that only you can do.”
Even if you have no idea what that purpose is and don’t really think you look great today, hearing yourself audibly say so over time may make a difference in your self-image and what you will allow yourself to feel and soon you may find you will begin looking for that purpose rather than entertaining depressive thoughts. And over time if you begin to see the benefits of your involvement in community help groups or attending happy events, there will be little time for feelings of sorrow. And soon, after filling your time with people, no matter who they may be, you will accept your value as a person and have no need for depressive attitudes and will instead wake and thank God for another wonderful holiday season and feel blessed to experience it.
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